I am in no way religious. I can make that statement with full confidence. However, if there is one beautiful piece of advice I can take from the bible it would have to be the “do unto others as you’d have them do unto you” commandment. Or in non-religious language, treat people how you’d want to be treated. Try not to be a mean person basically.
In my opinion this principle is one of the most important to live by. The best way we can treat other people is to treat them with kindness, respect and fairness. The question to ask ourselves is how do we want other people to treat us? The answers we get back from this question should be how we treat the people around us.
We clearly do not want people to treat us in a way that makes us feel insecure, negative, unworthy, tense etc. We know how it feels because I’m sure we have all been treated unfairly and rather harshly by other people. I know I have. Pretty much everyone who has been alive long enough has!
So because of how awful and crappy it feels to be treated unfairly by other’s, I always make sure that I don’t treat other’s unfairly. Of course we are not perfect and make mistakes all of the time. I still sometimes (unintentionally) treat other’s in a way that makes me look back with guilt. The practice here is to catch ourselves when we are not treating other people with respect, kindness and fairness. The more often we catch ourselves, the better we will get at stopping this unhelpful and unproductive tendency.
It’s always best to do what is in alignment with emotional balance and empowerment. Everyone wants to be in emotional balance and feel empowered, right? So it’s our job to make others feel good about themselves and feel comfortable in their own skin whilst being around us. If we make others feel bad about themselves, if we make other’s feel disempowered when they’re in our presence then they will always have low self-esteem and feel insecure around us.
Here are some useful guidelines we can follow:
We shouldn’t disrespect others if we don’t want to be disrespected ourselves.
We should do everything we can to not make other people feel bad about themselves if we ourselves don’t want to receive the same feelings.
To be aware of people’s feelings and to think about the way our words and actions would affect their lives by considering our own feelings if we were in their shoes.
It would be insanity to be horrible and disrespectful to others and expect them to be nice to us in return wouldn’t it? This clearly demonstrates that what we put out comes back to us. It’s like a law of nature. Be respectful and kind to others and we can pretty much expect the same treatment back. Be mean and unhelpful to others and they will probably respond the same way.
If we want people to be nice to us then it makes sense to be nice to them. If we are shitty to people then we should expect to receive that same kind of treatment. On the other hand, just because we treat other people the way we want to be treated, doesn’t necessarily mean that people will treat us the same way. Unfortunately this golden rule of treating others the way we’d like to be treated doesn’t apply to everyone. Some people just don’t care about how they treat others.
Fortunately, there is a liberating part to this as well. The more we get annoyed about how other’s can treat us unfairly, the more we give away our power. The way to reclaim our power is to let go the need for anyone to treat us a certain way. Let go the need to try and control other people’s actions and words… it can never be done. This doesn’t mean we have to be like them. No, we can rise above that. We don’t have to sink down to their level of rude and impoliteness. Instead of retaliating with negativity, we can just ignore them and move on. No solutions can arise from biting back against a spiteful person.
“The best revenge is not to be like your enemy” – Marcus Aurelius
From my personal experience I feel that it’s best to still treat people they way we want to be treated because it leaves us with a clean and healthy conscience. Treating other people in an immorally unfair way will just leave us feeling bad later on, if not instantly. Depending on how sensitive we are.
We cannot control other peoples words and actions. Although I am pretty certain that the people who we are treating with kindness, respect and fairness will respond positively to the way we are treating them and reflect it back.
How does it feel when we are around people who make us feel uncomfortable and low? Obvious answer isn’t it!
Just think how much better off as a species we would be if we lived by that rule of treating others the way we’d want to be treated. If everyone reminded themselves of just how horrible it feels when other people treat them unfairly and instead to treat others with kindness, respect and fairness with each and every new interaction.
I trust this post had some value for you in some way. If that was/is the case, feel free to share it with others.
Thank you. Until next time.